November 23, 2009

This is what we most commonly refer to as a crush. He is quite literally one of those hidden little doohickeys you find in the jewelry box stuck behind the Christmas decorations of Grandma’s attic. Such a rarity. Such an exciting thing to find; yet after you find it, you don’t really know what to do with it. You want to hold it close to your face and examine it for a few hours, but you know you’re not supposed to waste your time on such pointless frivolities. You have other things that require your attention. Who cares though, right? You stare at it anyways. You don’t know what it is about this newfound item, but it’s magnetic. You can’t tear yourself away from it. Your better judgment tells you to approach with caution. It’s probably made of lead and coated in asbestos. It might be a block of uranium, or a concentrated mass of something with a twelve thousand year old half life. Aside from being lethal, it might just be straight up weird- like the dead skin that falls off a baby’s newly tied naval. Who knows? Grandma could be a freak like that. Yet the butterflies in your stomach are still there whenever you pass by him. He could be horribly abusive or incredibly disconnected from reality. He could turn out to be in a vegetative state when it comes to relationships. Yet you’re intrigued; and intrigue always outweighs better judgment. That’s what he does to your brain, clouds your sense of judgment. Suddenly you realize you can’t get enough of him, even at his lamest moments. Suddenly you find yourself thinking about him all the time. You lose your sense of reality and don’t even mind it all that much. In reality nothing changes; you just shift your context to frame itself around him, but the world continues to spin on its axis- only this time, he’s in the center of the universe. It’s a game. Everything about these types of situations is a game. There is no such thing as no-pretense. Both parties draw cards from a mystery deck hoping the universe will tilt itself in their favor. Most of the time this game is nine times longer than Monopoly and the players just get bored and give up or move on. However, every once in a while they stick around just long enough to draw the last card and make the first move. In the event of this rare occurrence, both parties often realize their dedication to each other and the vast potential of their predicament, and suddenly the gravity of the situation strikes them. This is what we most commonly refer to as a crush.